A Tribute to an Unsung Leader
A one year ago today, the world lost a special person, Moe Moran. He was one of best people I’ve ever known, and he taught me much about life and leadership. He was my father and my friend, and I had the privilege to offer our family’s tribute at his funeral. Since then, many of people asked me to send them a copy of my remarks, and others have encouraged me to post them here. I hope learning a bit about this great, yet unsung leader will help you become a better one yourself.
Thank you for indulging me in a tribute to someone I love.
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Our Tribute to Moe Moran
Moe! That simple name for a great and wonderful man. Not great in the sense of titles or station or wealth. He never cared about any of that. Moe’s greatness was much deeper. His greatness reflected an inner light that drew people to him and made them love him. He was the real deal.
He was Moe to everyone. Those who didn’t know him would ask why we all called him Moe. Not Dad or Granddad, or Mr. Moran, or Commander Moran. The question implied an accusation of disrespect. Soon enough they too would be calling him Moe. He had that effect on people, and that was just who he always was.
Of course, there was that time when he was in grade school when his mother forced him to use the name Maurice. They had moved uptown from South Philly to West Philly, and Grandmom thought Moe didn’t fit their new community. Needless to say that the other kids from the neighborhood didn’t share Hettie’s opinion of the name Maurice. Add to it the bowtie she insisted he wear to school, and we are lucky Moe survived the second grade. Fortunately, she abandoned her efforts to rebrand Moe.
I promised that I would not stand up here and tell a lot stories about Moe or extol all of his virtues. That can wait until we get to the party. I expect to tell and hear quite a few.
What I do want to talk about are the qualities that best defined our Moe. Those things that we all knew and loved about him. The second reading today captures much of who Moe was. His life was a testament to Faith, Hope, and Love. Those three qualities go a long way to describing him, but there is one that is missing…Humility.
Moe was the essence of humility. He never thought of himself as something out of the ordinary. Moe was so humble that he never thought of himself at all. Humility was simply a part of who he was. It was only during his illness that we came to understand its depth and essence. It is easy to focus on the devastating effects of cancer, but there is one gift that cancer gives. Moe’s cancer gave us the time and sense of urgency to tell him things that we had always wanted him to know. Whenever we would tell him what we admired about him, he would respond, “I’m nothing special.” He just assumed most people lived as he did. His humility was a product of doing extraordinary things that he considered ordinary. It came from his Faith, his Hope and his Love. He never felt special, because these three came so naturally to him.
Faith…Moe was one of the most faith-filled people anyone ever knew. His belief in God was deeply personal. At the same time, he shared it with all. He lived his faith. He would have been a great priest. I’m not sure he could have handled that whole celibacy thing, but otherwise he would have been great. He lived his faith through his generosity, grace and love. He saw faith as a journey. Our faith is stronger because of Moe’s.
Hope. Moe was always hopeful. He never worried about things. He never suffered from insomnia. He said it was a sign of a clean conscience. That’s true, but it also reflected his deep and abiding hope. His hope and belief was evident in how he greeted us or said farewell. He would welcome us with genuine affection with “How are you brother?” or “What’s up shipmate.” He never ended a conversation without an “I love you.” or a “God bless you.” These were far more than words or filler. They were Moe’s hope for us. Another sign of Moe’s hopefulness was his presence. He enjoyed himself at whatever he was doing. He was content. He never thought about what was next.
Love, and the greatest of these is love. And oh how Moe loved. He loved life. He loved all of us. He loved all of the many roles he played. Father, son, brother, friend, Naval officer, executive, mentor, advisor, singer, comedian, husband…the list goes on. Whatever he did, Moe was happy.
He loved his family and friends. No one ever had to wonder about Moe’s love. He showed it to us constantly. He had the gift to make us happy. He never tried…it was pure and natural. His jokes and stories would keep us laughing no matter how many times we heard them. Sometimes all he had to say was the punch line, and he would have us rolling on the floor.
He loved music, and man could he sing. His beautiful tenor was like a blessing. It was his gift. I’m sure the Holy Family Choir isn’t quite the same without him.
Moe loved the Navy. He was thankful for the education and opportunities the Navy gave, but that was only the beginning. He was proud to serve his country. He felt privileged to be a graduate of the United States Naval Academy. His shipmates and classmates were among his dearest friends. He saw leadership as a privilege and he led with humility. He loved the sea and being a sailor.
Moe loved this church, and he helped build it. Holy Family was an integral part of his life. He generously gave of his talents to every ministry.
Moe loved to work. Nothing would make him happier than building something. Especially when he was helping someone else. Whether it was Habitat for Humanity or flying off to California to help Laura and Leslie build a room or deck, he couldn’t wait to get started.
And then there is the one that Moe loved most, Mom. You were truly his beloved wife, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do to make you happy. From the first time you met, he loved you. He even told so that night. “Bo…My name is Moe. I’ve been looking my whole life for a girl named Bo to marry.” Your love affair lasted for 49 long years. I know he made you happy, and you made his life a dream.
Moe, we will all miss your smiling face. We know you are still with us, but we still miss you. I hope you finally know how special you are.
Ronald Reagan: 100 Years of Leadership
Last Sunday, February 6, 2011, America celebrated President Ronald Reagan’s 100th birthday. The media was full of tributes to our 40th President. It was awe-inspiring to watch and read the many stories and celebrations of Reagan’s life and leadership. He is my favorite modern president, so I found myself wanting to honor him appropriately.
I came of age during the Reagan presidency. The presidential race of 1984 was the first in which I was eligible to vote. The assassination attempt in 1981shocked me and remains a vivid memory. The amount of attention Reagan is receiving reflects the impact that his life and leadership had on America and the world. He led America through one of its most challenging times. His leadership restored our faith and confidence in ourselves. He led us to victory in the Cold War and helped reduce the threat of nuclear holocaust.
While Reagan’s accomplishments and achievements were impressive, they are not what made him great. His greatness came from the attribute that defined him and his leadership – his character. Reagan knew who he was. He knew what mattered to him, and he understood the beliefs and values that formed his character. These beliefs and values did not influence or inform his actions; they drove and compelled them.
Reagan has become an icon to many. He has become the quintessential conservative. Whether it is leveled as a compliment or an insult, this label implies a dogmatic and rigid adherence to a political agenda. It gives the impression that Reagan was uncompromising. However, a close, objective review of Reagan’s presidency reveals an important truth about his leadership. It shows that he understood the importance of compromise.
Reagan knew that leadership meant having the wisdom and courage to find common ground with his adversaries, but he also knew that there are different types of compromise. He knew that leadership meant compromising on issues without violating one’s values and beliefs. Reagan demonstrated this distinction during the budget battles of his first term. His budget advocated three top priorities: increased defense spending, tax cuts, and reductions in domestic spending. Ultimately, he convinced Congress to pass a budget that achieved the first two but not the third.
Reagan compromised. Rebuilding America’s defenses and cutting taxes were matters of principle on which he would not compromise. The domestic spending cuts, while important, were issues on which he was flexible. This type of leadership required Reagan to both know his principles and to prioritize them. Reagan’s most fundamental value was protecting and preserving human freedom. He believed that communism was the greatest threat to that freedom. Reagan argued that unless America strengthened its military, communism would continue to spread. He called his strategy “Peace through Strength.”
Reagan’s next priority was restoring America’s economy. He believed that America’s greatness was built on its robust free-market economy. He felt the economic crisis of the 1970s and early 1980s was undermining America. Reagan also believed passionately that the federal government had grown far too large. Throughout his public life, he had declared his belief in shrinking the size and scope of government.
In 1981, Reagan recognized that he would not achieve all three of his budget priorities, so he compromised. He fought for what mattered most to him – defense and tax cuts. He accepted freezing the growth of domestic spending, but he acknowledged that the domestic cuts were unattainable.
Whether today’s leaders are lionizing Reagan or criticizing him, they can all learn important lessons from his leadership. They have the opportunity to define their characters in terms of what they truly value and believe. Great leadership is rarely a matter of choosing between good and bad or right and wrong. More often, leadership means choosing between good and good or bad and bad. Leaders like Reagan use their self-awareness and strong character to make these hard choices. Reagan believed in and valued the principle of limited government, but he valued freedom and economic stability more. His willingness to forego shrinking government was a compromise on policy. Had he allowed his political adversaries to grow the size of government, it would have been a compromise of character.
President Reagan taught us that compromise is not a dirty word. He showed that compromise that is rooted in our values is what makes a leader truly great.
Sometimes it feels like I need trifocals for my mind. That’s because I often have to focus on three different time-horizons simultaneously – past, present, and future. Success in most professional endeavors requires the right combination of leadership, management, and administration. By leadership, I mean the ability to look ahead and to imagine and articulate a future state. More than that, it is about getting others to see the goodness and wisdom of the future we aspire to. It is about helping them see that this future is achievable and worthy of investment and commitment. Management, on the other hand, is about seeing and dealing with the here and now. It is about ensuring that our work will enable us to achieve the future we desire. Lastly, administration is about the past. It is about reviewing results to ensure that we are achieving objects on our path towards our short and long-term goals and ambitions.
The key is finding the right balance of past, present, and future focus for the specific circumstances we confront. Rarely, we are fortunate enough to find ourselves in situations that allow us to concentrate solely on one timeframe. In exercises like strategic planning, we may focus almost exclusively on the future. Auditing and evaluations are almost entirely backwards looking.
Most activities, however, require us to maintain multiple perspectives. One such activity is project and program portfolio management. Our ability to maintain a triple focus – to lead, manage, and administer simultaneously – can mean the difference between success and failure.
Leadership in portfolio management means prioritizing and assessing in ways that keep the portfolio aligned with our organizations’ priorities and strategic objectives. Leadership means that we are getting the right projects done. Managing a portfolio means ensuring that projects and programs are being done right. It means making sure that the resources are available when they are needed and that the projects and programs have the support they need to be successful. Effective administration means that we are looking back to evaluate the quality of the work being performed, assessing the competence of people performing the work, and measuring the value of the work performed.
Too much attention in any one area can cause significant problems. When we over-emphasis the future, we can find ourselves with a portfolio of unfinished, poorly-run projects. Too much management focus, and we risk having the wrong projects being run exceptionally well. Too much attention on the past, and we can find we are applying lessons learned to projects that are inconsistent with our priorities. All three perspectives are essential.
So, how can we ensure that we keep our mental trifocals on at all times? First, simply being aware of our need for trifocals can help us stay focused on multiple timeframes. Second, it is important that we establish processes that require us to hold multiple perspectives simultaneously. For example, we can create prioritization processes that feed and integrate with our resourcing and staffing processes. We can integrate our lessons learned into strategic planning processes. Finally, we can encourage others to help us see when our attention is unbalanced. It is natural to be drawn to one perspective at a time. However, by forcing ourselves to maintain all three time-horizons, we increase our effectiveness and probability for success.
Visionary: Insult or Compliment?
Why is that we feel compelled to take words that mean one thing and twist them to mean something completely different? In my youth, somehow the word “bad” came to mean “good.” Today, I hear kids using the word “sick” to mean “great” or “awesome.” This isn’t simply a practice reserved for the young. I recently came across a word that connotes something radically different from the definitions we find in the dictionary. The word is “visionary.”
Random House’s Dictionary defines visionary as:
- given to or characterized by fanciful, not presently workable, or unpractical ideas, views, or schemes: a visionary enthusiast.
- given to or concerned with seeing visions.
- belonging to or seen in a vision.
- unreal; imaginary: visionary evils.
- purely idealistic or speculative; impractical; unrealizable: a visionary scheme.
- of, pertaining to, or proper to a vision.
- a person of unusually keen foresight.
- a person who sees visions.
- a person who is given to audacious, highly speculative, or impractical ideas or schemes; dreamer.
For most leaders, being called visionary is high praise. It means we have great ideas and a vision for how to move forward in a new and innovative way, yet most of these definitions describe someone who is out of touch with reality or even delusional. In fact, eight of the nine definitions cited have nothing to do with how we use today. The same is true for Webster’s Dictionary where only one of seven definitions align with our common usage.
So why does it matter that our common usage does not agree with the definition? In many cases, it probably doesn’t matter, and this is just a curious twist in a language that is constantly evolving. However, there are times when the precision of the words we choose does matter. Our workplace is becoming increasingly multilingual and cross-cultural. What happens if I call a non-English speaking colleague or client a visionary? If they simply look it up in the dictionary, they may take my intended compliment as an insult.
The problem of meaning being lost in translation is already large, but when words take on meanings that actually contradict or conflict with their definitions, we compound this problem. This became very real for me recently. The publisher for my forthcoming book, If You Will Lead, has plans to release it in Asia. I will need to ensure that words like “visionary” are translated as I intended them, not necessarily as the dictionary defines them. How well do people understand the words we use? Are they understanding them in the way we intended? The best way to know for sure is to simply ask, especially when we see a questioning look or get an unexpected response. Don’t be surprised if you find out that what you intended is not what someone heard.
The Power of Earned Enlightenment
Today, as we commemorate and celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., it is important to contemplate the impact that his life and leadership had on each of us. I consider my generation to be fairly enlightened in terms of race relations, certainly more enlightened than my parents’ and grandparents’ generations. I have close friends, colleagues, neighbors – even a president – of races different from my own. These relationships never seemed unusual or surprising. In fact, I have always taken race relations for granted. As the son of a United States Naval officer, I grew up seeing leaders of color as a normal and expected thing.
Being born in 1965, I was too young to understand the racial conflict that marked my early years. The hatred and violence has always seemed like an abstraction. I know it happened. I’ve seen the burned out blocks in Washington, D.C. – the lingering reminder of the riots of the 1960s. I’ve seen the films of defenseless men, women, and children being attacked by police wielding clubs, fire hoses, and dogs – simply for protesting peacefully for their fundamental civil rights. I have cringed as I looked at photographs of lynchings, and other terrorist acts perpetrated by racists. Despite the evidence, it has always felt distant and almost unreal.
My parents’ generation was not so lucky. They witnessed firsthand the discrimination and racial violence that tore at our country’s soul. They witnessed the civil rights struggle first hand. My mother and mother-in-law lived the racial horrors of Birmingham, Alabama of the 1950s and 1960s. Both grew up in middle-class homes where African-American “help” was normal and expected. The women who helped raise my mother and mother-in-law were important and integral parts of their families, but society said that these women were not their equals, nor would they ever be.
I have come to a new realization. My generation’s enlightenment is rather complacent. We inherited the benefits earned by the generation before ours. While prejudice and discrimination are still far too common, the sea change that occurred in the 1960s altered race relations forever. My parents’ generation worked for this change. They earned their enlightenment, and they have passed it to us. However, like inherited wealth, it is easy to take our enlightenment for granted.
The fact that members of my parents’ generation earned their enlightenment makes it much more powerful than our complacent enlightenment. Theirs is an active enlightenment. My mother and mother-in-law and many more like them helped overturn a system they were raised to believe was normal, and even benevolent. Despite the love their families felt for their “help,” they came to recognize that any society that placed one group of people beneath another – simply because of something as base as the color of their skin – was evil. That realization drove them and many more whites to join the civil rights movement.
That is the genesis of their active enlightenment. What makes it so powerful is that they earned it, and these earned benefits will always retain value. Their generation cannot and will not forget what it was like before. Their enlightenment is precious, so they protect it. They continuously invest in it. I see this in the actions of my mother and my mother-in-law. My mother spent much of the past 30 years working with and advocating for the poor elderly in Virginia. She worked in a neighborhood in Norfolk, VA, that was predominately African-American, when there were plenty of needy elderly closer to her home. I believe this decision reflected her desire to serve a community in which she was emotionally invested.
Similarly, my mother-in-law spent her career as a therapist and clinical social worker serving mostly disadvantaged clients in one of Birmingham’s poorest communities. Many of her clients were African-American. While she is now retired, she continues to remain actively engaged with Birmingham’s African-American community. She is a member of an African-American church where she is the only white face. Despite severe disabilities, she mentors and counsels anyone who asks.
Some attribute my mother’s and mother-in-law’s actions to some sort of white guilt, as if they were atoning for the sins of previous generations. Perhaps that is true for some people of their generation, but I choose to believe otherwise. I see their commitment as their way of safeguarding something that they earned. They know how real and pervasive the evil was. They witnessed the achievement of something precious, so they know its value. We inherited the same gift, but we fail to recognize its true value. Their active enlightenment is far more powerful than our complacent enlightenment. We can learn from them. Their actions and commitment make us remember.
Wisdom in the Funny Pages
We can find wisdom anywhere we look. Sometimes we don’t even have to look that hard. It just jumps up and smacks us in the head. One of my favorite sources is comic strips. For me, The Far Side is a constant spring of priceless life lessons. One of my father’s favorite quotes came from Walt Kelly’s cartoon, Pogo, which originated in 1948. Pogo, the title character said, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” While it may be grammatically imperfect, the wisdom is flawless.
Most people would not knowingly become their own enemy, but it happens all the time. This one line from a 50-year-old comic strip reminds us that we create many of the problems we confront. Worse than that, Pogo’s words reveal that we are often ignorant of our own culpability. We go through life blaming others for problems that we could have avoided. Self-awareness – rather the lack thereof – lies at the root of these challenges. Self-awareness can be exceptionally difficult and discomforting. That is why many of us choose to overlook this obvious solution and find ourselves repeatedly making the same mistakes.
Throughout my career, I have found myself taking on projects or accepting new roles without fully considering whether I was truly well-suited for them. Sure, I would think about whether I had the skills and abilities the job required. I would take into consideration whether I thought the role would be enjoyable. I might even consider how the opportunity fit into my long-term career aspirations.
Unfortunately, I rarely considered how well the role aligned with my beliefs and values. Therefore, I should not have been surprised when I found myself working for bosses whose beliefs and priorities conflicted with my own. Nor should I have been disappointed when the organization I worked for valued things that I did not. The problems originated with me, not my bosses or organizations. Had I gone into these situations with greater self-awareness, I would have been better prepared. I might have still chosen to take the same path, but I would have done so deliberately.
So how can we address this common mistake? How can we become more self-aware? How do we help those we lead do the same? First, make self-awareness a priority. ‘Tis the season of resolutions, so resolve to invest time in learning who you are. Take stock of your character. Then, next time you are confronted with an opportunity, you will be prepared to answer these questions:
- What is most appealing about this role?
- How does it align with my core values and beliefs?
- What strengths does it exploit?
- What weaknesses does it expose?
- Do my potential co-workers have similar values and beliefs as me?
By knowing ourselves and then acting on that knowledge, we can meet ourselves before we become the enemy.
How a Hero Can Become a Villain
Everyone knows the story of Benedict Arnold. His name has become synonymous with “traitor” in the American lexicon. Yesterday was the anniversary of one of his more infamous acts as a turncoat. On January 5, 1781, Arnold led a British raid on Richmond, Virginia, destroying a large portion of the city. Arnold is an easy guy to hate, but his treachery is only part of the story.
What made Benedict Arnold’s defection so devastating to the American cause was the fact that he had been one of the Continental Army’s most successful young generals. He had been a protégé’ of George Washington, and many histories attribute the American victory at the Battle of Saratoga to Arnold’s composure and leadership. So how did this American hero become one of our most despised villains? What caused him to become the turncoat we all know him to be?
I would argue that the same force that created Benedict Arnold, the traitor, causes many young and highly promising leaders to self-destruct. Arnold’s Achilles heel was his personal ambition. While he started the war driven by a combination of ambition for personal glory and revolutionary fervor, at some point his personal ambition superseded his nobler motives. The infighting and intrigue within the Continental Army contributed to his transformation. Congress failed to give Arnold the credit he believed he was due for the success at Saratoga.
Regardless of the contributing factors, Arnold’s treason was caused by a combination of impatience and unbridled personal ambition. Arnold lacked the maturity and character to see that his personal success was less important than the cause for which he was fighting. He lacked the patience to see that his (and America’s) long-term success was more important than short-term glory. These factors created the Benedict Arnold we have all grown to loathe.
So what does this bit of history have to do with modern leadership? What lessons can we glean from this story? As leaders, we have the honor and privilege to help develop future leaders. Occasionally, like Washington, we find ourselves leading a young superstar who has the potential to become great. With the right guidance and experience they can reach their potential. How do we ensure that they don’t become our personal Benedict Arnold? Our biggest risk isn’t that they will sell trade secrets to our competitors or betray us in some other way. Rather, the more likely scenario is that they become disillusioned or disgruntled. We risk turning a great asset into a liability.
How do we help our aspiring leaders find the patience to take the long view about their career? How do we help them develop the character to keep their personal ambition in check? The answers to these questions would fill volumes, and I would not attempt to do so in this short piece. However, building and maintaining strong, trusting relationships with those we lead is a good first step. This foundation will help us have the courage to deal with adversity and difficult situations openly and directly. Through these solid relationships, we can foster better two-way communication. A relationship built on trust enables us to deliver unpleasant or disappointing messages in a way that the recipient hears and understands the message. Perhaps even more importantly, a trusting relationship will encourage that employee to come to us with problems – before becoming disillusioned or disgruntled.
Whether or not Benedict Arnold’s treachery was inevitable is moot. It is interesting to speculate whether Washington or other strong leaders could have prevented it. Had they confronted him earlier and helped him see how his impatience and personal ambition were undermining his character, he might have remained a hero. More importantly, it offers leaders a stark example of how exceptional performers can lose their way, and it reinforces the importance of establishing and maintaining trust with those we lead.
It’s The Little Things
I have always known that great leadership and great parenting have a lot in common. Like parents, leaders often make sacrifices for the sake of those they lead. Just like parenting, leadership sometimes calls for a generous dose of tough love. Good leaders recognize that long-term happiness and success may mean short-term disappointment or frustration for their followers.
This weekend while sitting in church, I was struck by another similarity between parents and leaders. Great leadership, like great parenting, often reveals itself through the little things. I came to this realization while observing a father caring for his disabled daughter. Like most people, we Morans are creatures of habit, so we typically sit in the same pew on Sunday mornings. Our chosen seat is very close to where this father and daughter sit every week. I was always impressed and inspired by the level of effort and attention he gave his daughter. Throughout Mass, he was constantly responding to her needs and the demands of her condition.
As I observed him in the past, I would find myself thanking God that my children are healthy. Selfishly, I even found myself thankful that I wasn’t burdened with that level of responsibility. Witnessing his selfless parenting has also inspired me to be a better father. If he could bear this huge burden, then I can endure the challenges of being a “normal” parent. His actions were helping me on my journey to be a good father.
As I thought about what I had witnessed, I began to recognize that I had been seeing only part of the picture. I had been missing what makes this father exceptional. His greatness as a parent isn’t that he does the things he does. Rather, it is the way he does them. Regardless of how unpleasant or difficult the task, he does it with love and joy in his eyes. He willingly gives his daughter what she needs. Our endurance of the big things that parenting throws at us is what makes us good parents. Great parenting comes from how we do them. When our children get in trouble or get sick, when they struggle in school or with relationships, good parents respond. Great parents see these situations and challenges as opportunities to foster stronger relationships with our children while helping them grow and learn. For great parents, the problems aren’t a burden; rather they are part of the joy and privilege of parenting.
The same is true for leaders. Great leaders aren’t great for the tasks they do. What makes them great is how they do them. We remember George Washington for Trenton, Valley Forge, Yorktown, and as the father of his country, yet he could not have achieved any of this without the support of those he led. Their commitment to him was a result of how he led. They saw him willingly sacrifice and suffer with them and calmly lead from the front. These actions proved Washington’s dedication to his troops.
How do we respond to the challenges and adversity that leadership presents us? As leaders, we do a lot to support those who follow us, but it is important to keep in mind that it is often the seemingly inconsequential actions that will matter most. Those we lead will bring us (and sometimes cause us) problems. If you are like me, more often than not, you respond by jumping in to fix things, but the whole time you’re thinking, “great, here’s another mess for me to clean up.” It’s natural, but in these moments we miss opportunities for greatness. Good leaders react by helping to fix the problem. Great leaders respond by seeing these situations as part of the privilege and honor of leadership. They see each problem as an opportunity for learning and growth – both for themselves and those they lead. No, this is not about being a Pollyanna; rather, it is about recognizing that the little things forge great leaders.
As leaders and parents, our followers and children will provide us with a constant stream of problems and challenges. How will we choose to respond when they do?
This summer I wrote a piece entitled, The Four Most Important Questions. In that post, I asserted that leadership success depends upon our ability to understand and answer four questions:
- Who am I?
- What do I want?
- What attracts others to choose to follow me?
- How can I earn and retain the privilege to lead?
In August, I posted an article on self-awareness, Question 1: Who Am I? Once we have contemplated that question, and we have come to understand the values, beliefs, and traits that define who we are, we can turn to the next question, “What do I want?”
When we know what matters to us we can begin to effect meaningful and lasting change. Our self-awareness leads to greater awareness of the problems and opportunities around us. By knowing what we want, we can create a plan to get there. This article introduces The If 16 Leadership Attributes most closely related to recognizing, understanding, articulating, and acting on what we want – Ambition, Vision, Boldness, and Resilience.
- Ambition is our desire for achievement and accomplishment. Ambition is defined as “an ardent desire for rank, fame, or power; and a desire to achieve a particular end.” We distinguish between societal ambition – our hopes and aspirations for something bigger than us – and personal ambitions, and we recognize that the two are often complimentary. Our ambition (or our organization’s ambition) form the foundation for understanding what we want to achieve.
- Vision is the external manifestation of character and ambition. Vision starts with telling the world what we believe and then what we want to accomplish. We do this by describing a world that reflects our ambitions and aspirations. Publicizing and repeating our vision is essential to making it stick.
- Boldness is our ability to see opportunities that others don’t. More importantly, it promotes the willingness to seize those opportunities, even when others say we should not. Effective risk-taking and strategic boldness are essential to effective leadership.
- Resilience is the ability to bounce back from setbacks. Leading by knowing what we want means anticipating challenges and recognizing and overcoming the obstacles we encounter.
By knowing who we are, we can better see how we fit into the world around us. We can see more clearly the problems and challenges that matter most to us. We can more effectively identify solutions, and we can more quickly act to address them. Simply put, when we know and embrace our values and beliefs, we can better see when they are being violated; and we can choose how we want to respond. This is the key to knowing what we really want.
Several weeks ago, I experienced one of those annoying challenges of being a sole proprietor – the lack of computer technical support. Every time I opened my calendar in Outlook™, it would freeze up, forcing me to restart my computer. Prior to starting my firm last year, I had always been a part of large organizations. Whenever something went wrong with my PC, I simply called technical support. The problem is, now I am technical support. I am also administrative support, buildings and grounds, etc. The good news is that I am also the boss.
On this occasion, I found myself wasting hours trying to figure out how to solve the problem. Rather than pick up the telephone and find someone competent to help me, I tried to fix it myself. The more I tried, the more frustrated I became.
At the height of my frustration with my inability to solve this problem, I received a telephone call from a potential client about a piece of work wanted. They had decided to go in a different direction. As an entrepreneur, I have come to accept that rejection is a regular part of the process. Normally, I would have just taken it in stride, but for some reason, this one hit me harder than most. After the telephone call, I started analyzing and over- analyzing the call. The more I thought about it, the more aggravated I became. I even began revisiting my decision to start my business.
Several hours later, my wife came to my office to talk. She could tell something was bothering me, so she asked what was wrong. I responded, “I have a problem with my Outlook™.” While my answer carried the trademark symbol, the truth did not. I was feeling sorry for myself, and I frankly didn’t have a very bullish outlook. She asked if there was anything she could do, so I told her the whole story. I vented my frustration about the job. I whined about the annoying challenges of working for myself. Basically, I unloaded on her as I would have with any of the executive coaches I have worked with in the past. Like a good coach, she didn’t prop me up with meaningless encouragement. Rather, she let me vent. She let me get all of my self-pity out, and then she began asking questions that helped me find the answers I was looking for.
Laurie and I continued our conversations about my outlook, and sure enough I began to find solutions to both problems. First, I found an expert to help resolve the irritating computer problem. Next, I accepted that I would continue to experience the nagging problems of small business ownership. That’s part of the bargain. Finally, while I knew I’d still be disappointed when deals didn’t go the way I’d like, I acknowledged this reality of the work I am doing.
The most import lesson I learned from these events was that I have the ability to fix both my outlook and my Outlook™, with the right help and support. These events provided me a great metaphor for the power of coaching. I knew how to resolve both problems that afternoon. The problem was that I needed help finding them. One required a few hours working with a technician from a call center in India. The second required an objective and honest assessment of my situation. I needed someone to ask me questions dispassionately so I could put the setback into context. Fortunately, I have a wife who has the ability and willingness to play that role. But what if I hadn’t? I may have remained stuck with my lousy outlooks.
The power of coaching comes from the reality that the coach does not have the answers. The client does. My wife – my coach – did not try to solve my problems. She recognized that I had the answers. I just needed help finding them. While Laurie proved to be an effective coach in that instance, we both know that she is too close to me to be my ongoing coach. I’ve realized the importance of having a coach, and I have begun the process of finding one. Everyone can benefit from a coach, someone who can help us find our own answers.
