The If 16 Leadership Attributes: #4 – Selflessness

In the fourth couplet of his poem ‘If-,’ Rudyard Kipling wrote:

“Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;”

Kipling is telling us that as leaders, we must be willing to put our cause or beliefs ahead of our personal gain.  He is reminding us that true leadership requires a degree of selflessness.  It requires us to put our cause and those we lead ahead of ourselves.

When we think of selfless leaders, many great names come to mind:  Jesus; Gandhi; King; Lincoln; Mandela; Stockdale…the list goes on.  Whether we call it selfless leadership, altruistic leadership, or servant leadership, the concept is not new.  Most religious traditions extol the virtue of selflessness and the need to lead for the benefit of others.  The Bible, Torah, Koran, Bhagavad Gita, and many other religious writings are loaded with references to selflessness.  History is full of stories of selfless leaders who did the right thing simply because it was the right thing to do.  They weren’t seeking personal gain or reward.  In fact, the leaders above understood that their actions would ultimately cost them dearly. 

Lately selflessness has not been an attribute that is highly celebrated in leaders.  Today’s leaders are more often known for the size of their egos and the cults of personality that surround them.  Many leaders spend their energies focusing on their personal rewards and status, rather than focusing on the greater good of those they serve. 

Most great leaders have demonstrated some degree of selflessness.  Leadership is, after all, dependent on one’s ability to gain followers, so leaders must give others a reason to follow them.  Most of us want to follow someone in whom we believe.  We want to be part of something worthwhile and meaningful, so we follow leaders who are working for something important. 

So how do we become leaders that are more selfless?  The good news is we don’t have sacrifice to the degree that the leaders above did – no need to die or spend years in prison for our cause.  We also don’t  have to ignore our personal commitments and responsibilities.  The bad news is that it still requires a great deal of work and personal sacrifice.  The following are some simple lessons for those wishing to become more selfless.

1. Subordinate our personal feelings/needs/ego to the greater good. OK, this one is not simple.  In fact, none of these lessons are easy, but when we commit ourselves to a cause, we will often need to put the cause ahead of our personal goals.   This may mean sacrificing our pet project or sharing our strongest resources for the greater good of the organization or the team. 
2. Selflessness takes practice.  We can’t just wake up one morning and become selfless leaders.  It takes practice and discipline.  Selflessness often goes against our natural instincts for self-preservation.  It requires us to build and exercise new muscles.  We have to look for opportunities, both big and small, to practice selflessness.  
3. Don’t confuse  selflessness with a lack of will or sense of self.  Many may confuse selflessness with weakness or lack of will.  On the contrary, selfless leaders often have huge egos and wills of iron.  They know what they want.  As leaders we have to remember to keep thinking big and remaining confident, and we must know when and how to put the needs of our organization or cause first.
4. Selflessness requires leaders to understand boundaries and priorities.  If the cause is great and we believe in our ability to effect change, we should be prepared to make equally great sacrifices.  We may jeopardize a big promotion or bonus to do the right thing.  We may even put our job on the line.  We will also make smaller personal sacrifices, like missing family events or bringing the stress of work home with us.  Selfless leadership requires us to explore fully our boundaries so that when we confront choices we are prepared to make them.

Anyone can become a selfless leader.  Selfless leadership requires hard work, patience, sacrifice, and most of all love.  We must love what we do, the people we serve, and our cause.  A selfless leader’s journey is a testament to Kipling’s lines, “Or being hated don’t give way to hating, And yet not look too good nor talk too wise.”